"We would have to be complete Dickheads..."

"We would have to be complete Dickheads..."

Our famous 'Dickhead Matches' have created a controversy all around the world...

Of course, one of the problems is, that as an actual match we haven't been able to post them because they are classed as Dangerous Goods.

So we now have a new innovation of 'Dickhead Matches' - seed sticks! You will be able to plant and grow the most magnificent Australian native plants using the seeds from our 'Matches'.

We don't actually sell our Dickhead Matches, however for orders of $20 or more, we used to include the 'Matches' - but only if a customer asked us to include them.

Here is the beginning of our section on 'Great Australian Dickheads' - we welcome your contribution to our website. Send us your "dickheads" story here - they may be edited and, if suitable, put up on our website.

Great Australian Dickhead #1 

A Queensland businessman (or he may have been Tasmanian) had purchased a new Paradise Motor Home (Australian made, of course) and was driving it along the freeway towards Brisbane. As it was his first vehicle that included a cruise control, he decided to turn on the cruise control and go to the back of the cabin to make a cup of coffee. While making his cup of coffee, - for some strange reason - the vehicle failed to take the bend, ran off the road and sustained quite considerable damage. The businessman then decided to sue Paradise for the damage that had been done to the vehicle, making him one of the Great Australian Dickheads of all time.

Col Maclean, the owner of Paradise Motor Homes, said, "In future we will be putting a sticker on our Paradise Motor Homes which says, 'when cruise control is in operation, the driver must remain at the wheel!"

Great Australian Dickhead #2 - Lucky larrikin almost loses leg

In July 2010 a larrikin who after having sunk a few coldies at the local pub, decided to get himself up close and personal with one of the crocs at Malcolm Douglas' Crocodile Park in Cable Beach.  

He wasn't content with standing the safe side of the fence, and so jumped over into the enclosure of Fatso, a notoriously violent croc, which was put into isolation as it was a known danger to the local community. Fatso, of course, had other ideas, namely a fast feed, and took a chunk out of our larrikin's leg. 

This larrikin, stunned and surprised, returned to the Divers Tavern to show the locals his war wounds and, expecting a congratulations plus a round of drinks for his efforts, was instead rewarded with a trip to the hospital plus a week of ongoing treatment for bacterial infection.

Special Interest Note – a packet of Dickhead Matches signed by Dick Smith sold for $2,500 at a charity auction.  Does this really show the incredible value of Dickhead Matches?!?

If you have a "dickheads" story please send it to us here - they may be edited and, if suitable, put up on our website.

Published 21/10/2011

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